Tomorrow’s Calling

I remember our first Mother’s group

We were fragile, you and I

Sitting at a park bench

With strangers, I would cry

But it’s been almost a decade

My boy, how did we get here

Why is there panic in my heart

As we embrace another year

I'm so torn when I am tired

Sometimes, I need to be alone

Then I wrestle with the guilt

You won't need me when you've grown

You'll be busy, skip my phone calls

Say 'we'd love to, but we can't'

And I will watch your life unfold

With a longing in my heart

I can hear tomorrow calling

As the sun sets in your eyes

I will never see those days again

You’ll never be that size

And every now and then

I stop long enough to see

All the details in the mess

All the fading memories

I’m reminded of mistakes

I wish I could go back and mend

All the things that I’d do different

All the other ways I’d bend

I look at Facebook photos

Days gone by when you were small

As you stride into my bedroom

Now so gangly and tall

Another bin bag full

Of all the clothes you have outgrown

Your smell is in the fabric

Your childhood inter sewn

Your soul will always linger here

Long after you have gone

I'll keep boxes of your puzzles

All your pictures and crayons

Beyond the gate, amongst the trees

The wind is now a whisper

Your future gently calling

You're looking back now at your sister

I've noticed you are curious

Change knocking at our door

But close it just this once

Let's build castles on the floor

Soon you will not notice

The shadows and the bees

Distracted and so fractious

To be gone, and to be free

The home once so chaotic

Will be still and I will hear

All the sounds that take a backseat

When there's children in my ear

I am clinging to your colour

To our early morning walks

To the way you dress yourself

And your constant need to talk

Dusk is bittersweet here

As it steals another day

And motherhood is slipping

So beautifully away

Bec. 24